Can I get an assistant for that?

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So little time, what’s a girl to do?

Online dating is, in a word, overwhelming. But, everyone else is doing it, so I said, sure why not? Besides I need to be able to intelligently write about it.

OH MY GOD! Here’s your tool kit ladies. First, whatever email address you sign up with (I suggest your junk one, you know the one where all of the Neiman Marcus, Dillards and Target emails go?) make sure you set up a filter where your hundreds of emails from the big online dating site will go. Don’t even get me started on “likes” and “winks.” I don’t even have time for that nonsense.

When your girlfriends tell you it can be overwhelming, they are understating. In the first 48 hours, I had 300 emails, not to mention the many hundreds of more likes and winks. (If you need an ego boost my dear, this is your place.) My profile was so minimal, it pretty much said “I don’t care enough to fill this thing out.” In fact, by the time I got to the writing (bio) part, I was over it.

EVERYONE will contact you anyway. I don’t care what age range you put, geographical range, education range, salary range, it doesn’t matter. They come from near and far. Truth be told, I felt a bit like chum in the water.

However ladies, if you get bored, it is a huge source of entertainment. Guys are funny. Opening lines are funny. Questions are interesting.

But let’s try to remember that kindness matters. Guys are putting themselves out there and asking you out. That can’t be easy. Once the original onslaught dies down to a manageable 20 emails a day, I try to send a thanks, but no thanks response, because ignoring people is just rude. If someone politely says hi to you on the street, chances are you aren’t going to keep walking without saying hi back.

Don’t get me wrong. I have plenty of girlfriends who have met guys they’ve dated exclusively and some have married. So, depending on what you’re looking for, it isn’t a complete waste of time.

And, I do not, I repeat not, want to meet with some schmo who asks me to marry him in his first message to me. ACK! Run, fast, in the other direction! Welcome to online dating sites…