In the end, it’s your relationships that matter most. So many times I get caught up with my deadlines and what I have to get done. When you work for yourself and work from home, the lines between work and home can become significantly blurred. It works great when you have to move back and forth between kid stuff and work stuff.
But a person recently told me that successful people focus and make time for what’s important. They make sure they spend quality time having quality conversations with those who are important to them.
I used to read to my kids every single night. We got away from that and I started to feel disconnected. That small habit of reading to them, discussing the books and tucking them in each night connected us through a shared activity.
I recently watched Brene Brown’s talk on The Anatomy of Trust. If you haven’t seen it, you should take a look. She said research shows that trust is built in those small moments. I would add that connections are built in those small moments too. And, like trust, it’s built over time when those small moments happen over and over and over again.
Building Connection Through Habit
So if you’re feeling disconnected from someone, make it a habit to do something with them. Life is busy, but the people in our lives are important. In 50 years when I look back on my life, I’m not going to remember the deadline, the blog post, the client (yes those things are important too). I’m going to remember the dinners with my boys, family and friends. I’m going to remember going stand up paddle boarding with my kids and friends. I’m going to remember long pool parties with friends and family. I’m going to remember watching silly shows and laughing with my boys, taking them to sports events and all of those other precious moments of connecting with them, with my family and my friends.
We’re creatures of habit. So when you make something a habit, whether it’s exercising, eating clean, making your bed or spending time connecting with loved ones, it’s something you do effortlessly. Why not make something that brings you happiness a habit?
Scheduling time for my priorities
It really is a simple step. My first job out of college was at Big Brothers & Big Sisters of Green Country in Oklahoma. I’m grateful they sent me to Franklin Covey’s time management class and bought me a planner. That class taught me about taking a few minutes at the beginning of each workday to list out all of my tasks and then to assign a priority to them. What if we do that with our lives?
What would that look like? Would doing the dishes be an A1 priority? Or, would it be laughing with your kids? Everyone’s priorities are different, and I’m not necessarily advocating for a dirty house.
But, when you prioritize your entire life, how much time do you devote to the things that matter to you most? Do you make time for them on a daily basis? I can say that I don’t always.
I bought a journal after a friend told me about it. It’s called the 5-minute journal. It kind of combines what I’m talking about here with the power of attraction. Every morning, I write down three things I’m grateful for, three things that would make the day great and my daily affirmations. It focuses my day.
Each night, I write down three amazing things that happened that day and how I could’ve made that day even better. Sometimes, I have more than three things to write down. Sometimes, I can’t think of a single thing that would’ve made that day any better because I feel like I used my time as wisely as I could in a balanced way.
Between that and my planner, how much richer would my life be if I schedule time to connect with my boys, my friends and my family?
Building Better Connections for Better Balance
A sweet, wise friend of mine writes, talks and coaches about life balance. It’s when that balance is off that I feel the most disconnected. And when I feel disconnected, I feel lost, alone and stressed. I get frustrated more often and just out of sync with who I am. I lose my temper.
Remembering to make time for those who matter most to me and I to them is my new commitment to myself. I think that scheduling that time, making that process a habit will bring better balance, peace, happiness and the space to be me.
Happy Sunday! Here’s to building better relationships!
I'm single and loving it. Two kids and a busy job. Life is an adventure. Being single is liberating. Life is short, spread joy.