A guys point of view...
Online dating/dating is overwhelming to us gentlemen too. Let's be honest with each other on a couple of out-of-the-gate things I've experienced. Kindness speaks volumes to men.
At 30 or 40 something years of age, I’m looking for a woman with modesty and intelligence who already has her own vision and goals in line. I do not mind helping someone achieve their goals but I do not want to be their only desire or focus.
I like to think that there might be a few out there who might like a friendship or partnership that enhances their daily life. I'm in no rush and not just looking for intimacy right out of the gate. It all starts with kindness and friendship and then if things go great from there, other opportunities present themselves when it's appropriate. Once the important foundation of trust is laid, and there is respect of course, intimacy is very important to a man as I am sure it is to a woman too.
I'm not suggesting that all women should be Alpha or all men should be either. I suggest a compromise somewhere that meets in the middle. I am an involved parent with two wonderful children and when deciding on a woman to date I think long and hard about the kids first.
So, with this being said, I don't introduce someone to my children after a month or even two months. I realize this timeline varies depending on the compatibility of the relationship, and each relationship has different timelines. You know when it’s the right time for each of you to make this leap to meeting each other's children.
At this stage in my life I know I can accomplish my goals and I'm self-confident in what I have to offer and I am handling my business as a father and provider. A self-sufficient woman is important. I'm not looking to go backwards at this point in my life. I know what I want in a friendship and partnership and I am not willing to compromise on what's best for me and my future.
Sometimes when meeting women, it’s best to just become friends. You can determine early on if it’s healthy. It’s ok to let them know you are looking for friendship with them and the next level will not happen. I can always use more friends. Honesty is key and being able to feel like you can be you is important.
Do not pretend to be someone you're not. The most beautiful moments in my life are in those pure moments when people are just being themselves and their true beauty shines through.
With all of this being said, just realize life is short and no one is getting out alive. Be yourself, have fun and the real beauty will shine through to the person who is supposed to see it.
I'm single and loving it. Two kids and a busy job. Life is an adventure. Being single is liberating. Life is short, spread joy.